In which there is an Avatar

Bastion and Brionna decided that the best thing to do to take their daughters' minds off of the loss of their grandmother was to adopt a furry companion. As we all know, the best way to deal with grief is to distract yourself with something new, then drown it in alcohol. Yup, that's the way. The kitty was dubbed Epicurous.

Celina made sure to introduce the family's newest member to Jumbuktu. "You must pray in front of Jumbuktu every day, and ask him what we should do for him so that we can keep our family together. I prayed for him to banish the evil money-grubber, and Daddy hasn't brought her over for days. But Jumbuktu needs more devotion. That's why he took grandma. He was angry."

So Epicurous went to Jumbuktu daily to find out what he could do to please the golden god. Unfortunately, huge statues made of plastic covered in goldleaf are not very clear communicators.

Kill teddy! Teddy bring attensions 'way from Jumbuk! Teddy must die!

Teddy was packing a whole bunch of potential weapons, as well.

Celina still managed to grow up well, despite the growing volume of the voices in her head. She was now a teen and able to take care of herself. And, of course, earn money. Celina liked money. It was shiny.

"Hi, Epicurous. What are you up to?"

Must kill tree. Tree bad. Too dark. Jumbuk like only shinies.

"Ah. Good job, Epicurous."

Bastion's life's focus seemed to be to burn the house down whenever guests were around. Six cooking points, and he still managed to start a fire every other time he touched the stove.

Celestina herself had a birthday, reaching her teen years. A plethora of opportunities were before her, but part of her wished for a more normal life. A life with a husband and a couple of children, in a big house with no fake gods, and perhaps a non-alien or two.

In which there is a golden god

Nanny-firing, take four. Karen simply can't accept that she was only needed for one day and keeps coming back for more rejection.

"Hey Celestina. I just found out that we're not just cousins. We're sisters as well. The same pollination technician processed your mom and my dad. Isn't that cool?"

"Cow go MOOOO!"

"We're sister-cousins! Or sistins. Or cuzters. Well, something."

"Sheep go BAAA!"

Celina suspects that Erica is spreading slander against her in a grassroots campaign against her wish to continue living in the beachhouse with the rest of her family. That, or she's making fun of teddy, which is just as offensive. Money-grubbing harlot.

But what was this huge golden statue? It had just appeared in the bedroom the children and grandma Arianna shared together one day. Hmm. Curious.

Dance! was doing very well indeed. Not only did Bastion and Brionna finally have enough money to enclose it against the elements, but they'd spent a hefty sum on a DJ booth, bar, hottub, and decorations. The spot was a major draw to all teens through elders who visited Prospect Beach because, let's face it, there wasn't much else to do.

Bastion's weird hours and Arionna's growing need for more naptime left Brionna in charge of the children more and more. Luckily, Celina was pretty independent, though it was a bit worrisome that she seemed more and more reclusive. She spent hours at a time looking at the golden statue, who she had named Jumbuktu, based on the nearly scratched-off nameplate on his left foot.

With all the money the family had been pulling in, talk began of investments. They had enough to pay the children through college and possibly give them a large nest-egg.

"Uncle, looky! I'm old now!"

Celestina grew up well, as expected. This made Celina extremely happy, as she now had a true playmate.

Arionna spent every spare minute studying, remembering that in her youth she had yearned to learn everything possible about every single subject. Finally, as she finished "Widgets and You: A How-to on Basic Whatsit Design" she felt completely fulfilled. Blissfully happy, she walked out to the porch to take a gander at the night sky, only to be rudely interrupted.

The huge painting recolors featured at Dance! can be found in my MTS2 profile. Use 'em anywhere you wish, as long as it isn't a paysite. My general policy is "Meh."

In which there are grandkids

Bastion gave birth to his very own 3/4 alien spawn on the beach. His mom watched from the background, still in her nighty after a mid-day nap. Elder sims must lose their internal clock during that last age-spin. Celina was a very pretty child, so far inheriting all of the good alien characteristics and none of the bad. She had reached toddlerhood before her aunt Brionna delivered.
Brionna just didn't seem to gain that much weight during her pregnancy. Her belly only grew to about half the size of Bastion's, causing him to worry that there wasn't really anything there. "Heddo, babykins! Can you hear me?" There's a good six inches of skin and tissure in between you and that kid, Bastion, not to mention the muffling effect that a sound layer of amniotic fluid has.
But when Celestina finally came, she didn't seem any smaller than her cousin was as a baby. Arianna seemed drawn to her grandchildren and took over the majority of the childcare. She was up at all hours of the night anyway. Brionna took her turns, though. Bastion was almost always out. He was either dating some random townie or at his job as a professional party guest, or sleeping off all that partying.
Wait...are those floating hearts? I can barely see anything out there. Who in the world is that?

Erica. Blond hair, green eyes, slightly bohemian style disguising a money-grubbing little harlot. Unfortunately, she'd become the sole object of affection for Bastion. She wanted more than anything to marry him and get her hands on the burgeoning Mayo fortune.

"Wouldn't you love to get out of this crowded house?"

"No!"

"When your daddy and I get married we'll buy a mansion up on the plateau and you won't have to share a room with your gramma and cousin."

"No!"

"But..."

"Go way, mean lady!"

Suffice it to say, Celina isn't a fan. Celestina grew up a bit formerly, but equally well and also quite cute.

Combatting the "Jeffty is Five" Effect

One of the strangest things (and trust me, there are many, many strange things) about Sims2 is how aging is implemented. Our playables go through all age stages, with the YA stage being optional. Ignoring for a moment the insanity that is how University is handled, this means that a sim is on their pixellated Earth for approximately 70 days in an unmodified game, not counting University.

But what about townies and (if applicable) downtownies? These sims are not consciously played until they are added into a family, but they still are a very large part of the game. Yet they seem to be stuck in some sort of temporal stasis, ala "Jeffty is Five". A child may bring home from school a fellow student who also was best friends with his great-great-great-great grandmother. How strange!

I've constantly struggled with how to handle townies. Do I explain their inability to age away as their being part of a temporal stasis? Do I say that as the Oversoul has not yet gained interest in them, they are not yet entire beings, and the good and the bad of being a fully conscience sim is that one will grow, reproduce, and die? Do I eventually lose my mind and kill them all off? Do I age them along with my sims? If so, should I just start counting down the days until my neighborhood blows up in the famous BFBFVS, those hundreds of character files and memory files from dead townies eventually causing complete meltdown?

My solution for the moment is to age townies up on a rotation. This still isn't near realistic, but it's something, and it means that that adorable little townie kid I'd love to marry into my family, or a rather quirky teen who really needs some more spotlight, might eventually grow and join the family, or age and die to build fodder for my graveyards and make way for more townies. Each time the eldest of a generation ages to teen, I age half of the children, teens and elders, and a fourth of the adults. This isn't done randomly. I have a spreadsheet letting me know what lifestage every townie is in, when they last aged up, and what round I'm in. Before doing so, I check SimPE to see if any new townies have generated so they aren't missed. It's a lot of maintenance. It's still not quite what I want. It's going to add eight or so dead character files every generation. But it's enough that Jeffty eventually will grow old, even if his best friend has long passed.

In which there is dancing

Finally, Bastion and Brionna had become adults. They chose to stay at home rather than get places on their own, as the empty basement was the perfect size for two bedrooms and a second bathroom. As Pleasure sims, neither had the inclination to marry and settle down.

Brionna could not wait to meet her alien ancestors, now that she was old enough. Night after night, she stood near the beacon telescope and looked for a sign that they had come back to the neighborhood. Night after night, she was disappointed.

Ah, but they were there for Bastion when he'd barely been at the 'scope for an hour. And, of course, for mom Arianna again. What a waste of a probe! With Arianna only a couple of days from becoming an elder, she couldn't have been much fun to play with.

In an attempt to furnish their basement space, Bastion and Brionna opened a business on a small lot not far from home. A dance floor, a ticket machine, and a stereo. Very, very exciting stuff. However, we've learned that townies don't really care what they are doing as long as they have the opportunity to play the consumer. The twins dubbed the new business Dance!. Mostly, it was just a place for the local girls to sit and laugh at Bastion's horrible dance moves.

Elderhood became Arianna. Except for a slight hunch to her shoulders, she didn't seem to have aged a day from when she first moved to Prospect Beach tens of days ago. With Arianna now off the table as a viable specimen and Bastion already expecting, the aliens deemed it time to retrieve Brionna.

A short thanks is needed towards SaraMK of MATY. Without her hack, found here, to make Maxis default neighborhood objects and decorations placeable virtually anywhere, views like these just would not be possible. Without her added information on how to do this on your own objects, my custom signage placements would be severely restricted. Great gifts come in small .packages.

Other thanks to:

• TwoJeff's Age Duration Hack (I've slightly modded this hack in my game to lower the teenage days to 8 days, equal to childhood. 15 days is excessive.)

In which there are alien spawn

Nine months (aka 3 days) later, Arianna welcomed not one, but two half-alien children into her sparsely furnished beach house. As the basement was still unfinished and the house itself was rather small, the two cribs had to squeeze into her bedroom. This meant that the hard job of being a single mom to twins was even harder, as getting a whole night's sleep was nigh to impossible. Was it then any shock that she fell asleep while cooking lunch and nearly burned the house down?

Bastion and Brionna grew quickly, thankfully. Not having much furniture meant that there wasn't much trouble to get into. Other than a few quick shooings from the toilet, the kids kept to their toys. Alternatively, they would just sit around and stare off into space. Very exciting.

"Hi mommy! We're kids now!"

"Great, maybe I can get some sleep."

The twins were remarkably outgoing children who enjoyed playing on the beach in their backyard at every opportunity.

For one day only, Arianna took a chance and hired a nanny. Karen whats-her-name somehow managed not to burn the house down or leave the lot early, causing the social worker to show. She did manage to bug the living hell out of the children and failed to feed them. Eh. Good childcare is hard to find. Thankfully, the twins soon became teenagers and no longer needed supervision before and after school. So far, so good for the Mayo genomes.

"So, like, I heard that you can totally make a lot of money just playing games."

"But, Marianne, isn't that the Gamer career? Don't you have to take part in one of those gold-farming scams to move up in it?"

"Just for one day. No biggie."

Bastion secretly wonders what planet his alien mother came from. I don't think she's from Saturn, kiddo.

In which we meet our founder

Arianna Mayo. No one quite knows why she came to Prospect Beach. Was she escaping a bad marriage? Looking for a way to distinguish herself from a gaggle of siblings? Needing a quiet place to manufacture the newest Servo model? Just bored?

What we do know about Arianna is that she is a Knowledge sim with a want to learn as much as possible. A loner to the core, she hates big crowds and struggles with making friends. Yet she's curious about the world around her, and not only has started in the Adventurer career track, she also spends long hours at night gazing into the heavens.

What Arianna didn't know is that Prospect Beach happens to be attractive to more than a bunch of octogenarians looking for a way to spend their leisure time. And, gazing into a bright red telescope is pretty much like putting out a great big abduction beacon. Oops.

"Oops?! I get pulled up into an alien ship in the middle of the night, when I was tired and ready for bed...I have all sorts of experiments run on me that have me feeling great and like I'm about to die and back again...I have unspeakable things put into my nether regions when every sim knows that's only for fishing poles, kicky bags, and sticks....and you just say 'Oops'!"

Ah, apparently she can talk. "Of course I can talk, you idiot!" Apparently, she's also in a bit of a touchy mood at the moment. Let's just leave Arianna be for now, and enjoy the only positive result of alien abduction: pregnancy. Well, positive if you want children, which Arianna's not adverse to.

Thanks to:

• Shiny red telescope provided with the Multiple Polination Technition hack by fwiffo (x10 abduction odds, which still results in only a 5% chance)
• Tombstone of L&D (game object obtained through boolprop) to trigger alien pregnancy, as EAxis somehow figured only males should be able to carry alien spawn
• PregandServoWearAllClothes hack, by Squinge (retired) available from the Sims2Graveyard
• Adult Female Default Meshes w/Pregnant Morphs (v1.1) by 'the mystical one'.