In which there is an old fart

Introducing: the burglar. Orlando something-or-other. As the residents of Celestina's home were too busy running in full panic away from his super-scary unarmed self, no one bothered to catch his full name. As the burglar failed to case the joint, he failed to notice that there was a burglar alarm and therefore failed to make off with any goods. Instead, he got a free ride and a nice cool cot for the night with a well-used metal toilet for a pillow.

Dylan decided that all he wanted for his teen birthday was to have his gramma move in with them Brionna agreed wholeheartedly. She was getting mightily sick of having her meals include prostelizing on the proper worship of Jumbuktu, and how she and Bastion had only failed themselves by failing to convert. Dylan grew up well (real shocker there) and started trying to chat up the local teens. A Fortune sim, he knew that having a good relationship with the locals would make them more susceptible to his sales pitches when he finally was able to own his own business.
Brionna was acting very, very strangely. Immediately after moving in with Celestina and Lucas, she started to wander off occasionally. Someone always caught her before she left the lot, but her forgetful ways were beginning to worry the family. One day, while the adults were off at work and the kids off at school, Brionna just dropped everything and walked out of the kitchen...out the front door...past the pool...and off the property.
Celestina came home shortly thereafter to find that without the safety sprinklers in the kitchen, the tv dinner Brionna had set in the stove would have burnt down the house. Daphne was bawling in her crib, nearly beside herself that no one had come to get her when she had woken up. Just a few more moments, and the social worker might have come to sever Daphne irrevocably from her family due to perceived neglect.

When Brionna was finally found wandering around Always in Season up on the lowest plateau, asking if anyone knew where she had left her frozen peas, Celestina contacted the management of Prospect Palace. Only a living facility with constant supervision would do for her mother. Perhaps she could also find a little love in her golden years. Goodness knows, those elders at Prospect Palace were at it like bunnies.
The retirement home agreed with Brionna, who seemed to attend better without the occasional interruption of a screaming toddler or a stream of townie visitors. She began to make friends with the other residents. This was, unfortunately, shortlived. Brionna was headed to an early bedtime her second day at the home when Death came a-knocking.

In which the author gags

That probe had definitely been loaded. Celina grew huge over the next couple of days and gave birth to a little boy named Derek. Derek, oddly, had black hair, which must have come from his alien father. Bastion was pleased as could be to be a grandfather. Finally feeling fulfilled from all of those dates with the now-dropped Erica, his wants had started to be centered around continuing his side of the family.

Celina built a nursery for Derek in the basement, in Brionna's old room. Where was Brionna? Well, we'll cover that a bit later. Of course, the room was decked out in various tributes to Jumbuktu in addition to the normal nursery fare.

Ski faster! Avatar of avatar of Jumbuk must fly like breeze over slopes. Faster, slave!

Celestina and Lucas's brood were growing up well, and loved each other very much, thank you. Daphne preferred a good puddle over silly skilling toys. Really, who needs a stupid talking bunny head? It has no body! That's creepy and cruel. Dylan approved of Daphne's aversion. Afterall, the only reason he had deemed to play with the disembodied toy was to avoid paying attention during talks of birds and bees.

While Celestina and Lucas had no plans on creating another child, their romance was still alive and well. And annoying. Really annoying. All that reproduction had bumped their chemistry from two bolts to three, and the two were basically paws-on at every moment. Seriously, give me a break.

An excavation project further down the beach had uncovered four strange stones. Of course the place was immediately commercialized and advertised as a great tourist attraction.

Eat flapjacks!
See the light show!
Play on a pirate ship!
Walk on hot coals like a native!
Similarity to torture device purely coincidental. Owners of Tiki Ruins (tm) not responsible for medical expense or pain and suffering due to severe burns. Flapjacks contain monodextros solvinate and nuts.

In which there is a baby and a business

Life for Celestina and Lucas was going well. Reyna had grown into some sort of pincer mutt, and the large home was beginning to be decorated to their liking. They spent most of their spare time hanging out on the rooftop deck tossing around a baseball and playing at growing some fresh vegetables, though they often forgot about the crops and let them founder.

"Mommy and Daddy are going to try for another brother or a sister. Would you like that?"

"Sheep go BAAAA!"

"No matter what, we'll love you just as much as we do now, okay?"

"Cow go MOOO!"

Luckily, the bedroom was one of the rooms in the house that had been finished, meaning that the couple had a great place to try for another baby.

"Woo hoo! No more playing with the dumb pink bunny!"

Dylan grew into a child just as well as could be expected, while Celestina anticipated the arrival of their next child...that same night. Meet little Daphne Mayo, second of the third generation and a blond like the rest of the family.

While his job as a Hall of Famer was fun and lucrative, Lucas found he had too much free time and not enough to do with it. He started a new business on the yard of an open lot close by Dance! The wares: chairs. Four of 'em. Cheap. However, the local business columnist, Lisa O'Brien, was impressed by his attitude and gave the business a Best of the Best award that very first day.

Lucas chose to keep the business finances and the house finances separate, yet still made enough to put four walls up and landscape. The lot was named The Furnished abode and expanded to selling couches...because sometimes more than one person needs to sit down at a time.

Townie Lovin'

One aspect of realism that I love in my neighborhood is watching townies create relationships. Inevitably, some townies will have personalities that can't help but clash. In a former neighborhood, I had one particular townie sim who would get in a fight every single time she visited a lot. She had a favorite punching bag, but in her absence would take on pretty much anyone.

Prospect Beach so far is lacking in the MOAR FIGHT category. But what's it's not lacking is plenty of townies getting it on with each other in public (aka The Hibbity Quotient). I find it interesting to note which townie has fallen in love with which other townie, and I try to avoid adding romantic entanglements between my playable sims and "taken" townie sims. For now.

Sometimes townie love gets in the way of my fluid plans. There is a particular townie I've liked since she was a teen...one Belinda Cannon. She's a frequent patron at Dance! and has so much personality. She's black with this unreal red hair she wears in a long bowl cut. As a teen, she sported a leopard-skin body suit. As an adult, she's toned it down a bit but is wearing jeans, a jacket, and a leopard-skin tank top. I don't change townie appearances until they marry in (if then), so this was all chance. She's a bit dorky and seems to be friends with everyone. I'd been planning on marrying her into my playables, but what does she do at a as-yet-unshared wedding? Yup. Makes out with and falls in love with another townie. Bah. Another curve ball.

Thanks to:
Autonomous Casual Romance (ACR), by TwoJeffs, formerly of MATY and now of Inteen.

In which there is a shrine

Bastion finally reached his elderhood (perhaps that sunburn sapped the last of his youth). It was odd how he had aged a few days after his twin. He also didn't have any saggy bits like Brionna did...that we know of.

Give Epicurus chili. Avatar of Jumbuk must have firey breath to scare the unbelievers.

In the middle of the night, one of the neighborhood strays dropped off a squirmy white bundle. It was a kitten, presumably of Epicurus's get. The family named the kitten Evaluous, and built a cat haven in the garage, since Evaluous couldn't climb up the steps to the house. When she grew up, she looked exactly like a lighter version of Epicurus, though lacking a certain dollup of imposed insanity.
Ok, she did seem to share Epicurus's furniture-destroying talents. At least a bed can't be fully destroyed when occupied.

Celina spent a few hours every night looking for her ancestors, hoping they would come and give her a little probing and the resultant child. Her sister-cousin had already had a child with that filthy, cheating human of hers.
In an effort to appease Jumbuktu, who obviously must have been angry with her and blocking her efforts towards celestial attention, Celina built a shrine in her room. The spot was an opulent tribute to Jumbuktu's island origins, complete with a chest of shinies to bring out the glow in his eyes.
"Please, Jumbuktu. Let me know how I can please you. Should I teepee the money-grubber's house? Should I work to create a rift between Celestina and that awful Lucas? Would you like more gold?"

Something seemed to work.

In which Bastion gets burned

Brionna felt the need to do a jig in the front yard at dusk. To her surprise, her feet actually threw sparks.

"No, Erica. I still love you. Uh-huh. I just don't think this is a good time to get married."

"Bastion! My boobs are sagging!"

"Wha---Brionna, just put a better bra on---where was I? Oh. Erica, why don't we go out on one last date, huh? No! No! I didn't say 'last'! Must have been your imagination."
Celestina used the money her mother gave her for graduation to buy a huge home next door. Did I mention that the Mayos are sitting on a bank account the size of a town's annual budget? This was a drop in the proverbial bucket. The house was two stories with a roof-top greenhouse and patio, an enormous pool, four bedrooms, and three bathrooms. Unfortunately, it didn't come furnished.
Celestina and Lewis were married in the front yard, with a small guest list. Celestina had invited her mother and uncle, only to have Celina show up and snicker during the entire ceremony. Needless to say, Celestina kicked her sister-cousin out of the house as soon as the ceremony was over, causing a bit of a damper to the wedding party. Everyone was so distracted that Lucas accidentally took Celestina's name instead of the traditional format they had planned.
Lucas's bridal gift to Celestina was a puppy they named Reyna, and a little bun in the oven. The house might be sparsely furnished, but it was certainly starting to feel full with Celestina's expanding belly.
"Ugh! This is not fun! Why did I have to want children?"

"It's so exciting!"

"Can it."

Welcome, Dylan Mayo, first child of the fourth generation.
"Bastion, don't you think you've been laying out for long enough?"
"Nah, it's fine. Aliens don't burn."



"Dammit."

In which there is a schism

Avatar of Jumbuk must keep up strength. Nummy pork chops! Make more pork chops, slave!

Celestina and Celina began helping at Dance!, as the club had reached level 10 and was absolutely packed between the hours of 9:00 pm and 5:00 am. Understandably, the teens could only work during the weekends, and the family had to change the bar offerings to juice-only. Many of Vista View's newly grown teens started frequenting the club.
Celestina found one patron incredibly interesting. His name was Lucas, and he was human. This fact angered Celina to no end.

"Have you forgot what that harlot Erica was trying to do? Split us up! And now you're entertaining some older man who is definitely planning the same sort of thing!"

"He's doing no such thing, Celina. Besides, I want a family."

"You have a family!"

"I want one that doesn't come from a probe, dammit."
The college education that Bastion and Brionna were denied due to lack of funds was fully within reach for the current generation, considering that the family was now sitting on a bank account the size of a small town's yearly budget. Celina started her four years at Prospect University, in the dorms. Her room was spacious, if a bit cookie-cutter since she didn't deem to decorate or even bring a different set of sheets.
Unfortunately, living in the dorms meant that Celina had to put up with a huge number of humans every day. If Jumbuktu could see these conditions! She tried to keep away from their poisoning influence as much as possible, at least separating herself from the crowd during required group work.

Celestina took nearly the opposite tactic once she got to college, seeking out her fellow students at every opportunity, and inviting Lewis over for a bit of slow dancing by the campus band's stage.
"I swear, Celestina! Did you learn nothing from what happened to my father? Humans will only play with your emotions to get what they want, then drop you once they tire of you."

"Celina. Bastion broke up with Erica, not the other way around."

"Because she tricked him."

"Whatever. Lucas loves me."
Celina could accept Celestina's refusal to worship Jumbuktu. She could accept her Family ways. After all, weren't their parents Pleasure sims, which are ten times more flighty than Family sims? But consorting with a human? Allowing him to pinch her tush in public? That was disgusting and unacceptable.

"Daddy, I'm so mad at her. I can't even explain it. She's so....she's so....arrgh!"

Keeping things fresh

Let's face it, The Sims2 came out in 2004 (thanks jade). That's approximately 4 years ago. For someone who has been with the game since its debut, eventually there are only so many times you can reach the top of a career or have a sim have ten children or mysteriously lose a pool ladder. So what do you do when you reach the point where keeping happy little sims perfectly made and played becomes stale?

For some, the answer is to play challenges. I've tried challenges. I actually played an Alphabet family through to the eleventh generation, before they added those silly rules about having three children each generation, etc. I've played a legacy through to the fifth generation. But in challenges, I always feel like I'm playing towards someone else's goals and ideals. When I have to kill off a certain sim just to get a full set of colors of ghosts, there's something wrong with the world. Really. Think of the pixels, people!

There's really three options at the point where the game becomes routine. You break from the game completely, you turn to custom content creation, or you do everything you can to mix things up. Well, I like the game too much to break from it. I'm mediocre at custom content creation, and am really only inspired to create what I need for a given situation. So what did I do? I basically stopped making the big choices in my sims' lives. I use a program called Random Stuff made by Hook. It's a really simple program that you can use to code decisions into. I use it to roll aspirations, name babies, answer yes or no questions, pick turn-ons and turn-offs, even to pick base face templates and genetics for CAS sims.

So let's take a particular sim. When this sim is born, I use Random Stuff to give me a name. Name - Ocean. Ocean will be a Fortune sim who likes vampires and cologne, and doesn't care for fat sims. Ocean would like to go after the Law career line, but he is not allowed to go to college, meaning that he can't be in that career line unless he works in it as a teen (I have a hack that tightens career requirements).

It's through this randomization that I get sims like Bastion and Brionna. Honestly, I don't really care for Pleasure sims. I don't care for repetitive lifetime wants like dating X sims. But that's what I got, so that's what I played. And they did grow on me, much more than yet another family sim who marries their highschool sweetheart and proceeds to pop out a few babies and top the Business career track.

In which there is an Avatar

Bastion and Brionna decided that the best thing to do to take their daughters' minds off of the loss of their grandmother was to adopt a furry companion. As we all know, the best way to deal with grief is to distract yourself with something new, then drown it in alcohol. Yup, that's the way. The kitty was dubbed Epicurous.

Celina made sure to introduce the family's newest member to Jumbuktu. "You must pray in front of Jumbuktu every day, and ask him what we should do for him so that we can keep our family together. I prayed for him to banish the evil money-grubber, and Daddy hasn't brought her over for days. But Jumbuktu needs more devotion. That's why he took grandma. He was angry."

So Epicurous went to Jumbuktu daily to find out what he could do to please the golden god. Unfortunately, huge statues made of plastic covered in goldleaf are not very clear communicators.

Kill teddy! Teddy bring attensions 'way from Jumbuk! Teddy must die!

Teddy was packing a whole bunch of potential weapons, as well.

Celina still managed to grow up well, despite the growing volume of the voices in her head. She was now a teen and able to take care of herself. And, of course, earn money. Celina liked money. It was shiny.

"Hi, Epicurous. What are you up to?"

Must kill tree. Tree bad. Too dark. Jumbuk like only shinies.

"Ah. Good job, Epicurous."

Bastion's life's focus seemed to be to burn the house down whenever guests were around. Six cooking points, and he still managed to start a fire every other time he touched the stove.

Celestina herself had a birthday, reaching her teen years. A plethora of opportunities were before her, but part of her wished for a more normal life. A life with a husband and a couple of children, in a big house with no fake gods, and perhaps a non-alien or two.

In which there is a golden god

Nanny-firing, take four. Karen simply can't accept that she was only needed for one day and keeps coming back for more rejection.

"Hey Celestina. I just found out that we're not just cousins. We're sisters as well. The same pollination technician processed your mom and my dad. Isn't that cool?"

"Cow go MOOOO!"

"We're sister-cousins! Or sistins. Or cuzters. Well, something."

"Sheep go BAAA!"

Celina suspects that Erica is spreading slander against her in a grassroots campaign against her wish to continue living in the beachhouse with the rest of her family. That, or she's making fun of teddy, which is just as offensive. Money-grubbing harlot.

But what was this huge golden statue? It had just appeared in the bedroom the children and grandma Arianna shared together one day. Hmm. Curious.

Dance! was doing very well indeed. Not only did Bastion and Brionna finally have enough money to enclose it against the elements, but they'd spent a hefty sum on a DJ booth, bar, hottub, and decorations. The spot was a major draw to all teens through elders who visited Prospect Beach because, let's face it, there wasn't much else to do.

Bastion's weird hours and Arionna's growing need for more naptime left Brionna in charge of the children more and more. Luckily, Celina was pretty independent, though it was a bit worrisome that she seemed more and more reclusive. She spent hours at a time looking at the golden statue, who she had named Jumbuktu, based on the nearly scratched-off nameplate on his left foot.

With all the money the family had been pulling in, talk began of investments. They had enough to pay the children through college and possibly give them a large nest-egg.

"Uncle, looky! I'm old now!"

Celestina grew up well, as expected. This made Celina extremely happy, as she now had a true playmate.

Arionna spent every spare minute studying, remembering that in her youth she had yearned to learn everything possible about every single subject. Finally, as she finished "Widgets and You: A How-to on Basic Whatsit Design" she felt completely fulfilled. Blissfully happy, she walked out to the porch to take a gander at the night sky, only to be rudely interrupted.

The huge painting recolors featured at Dance! can be found in my MTS2 profile. Use 'em anywhere you wish, as long as it isn't a paysite. My general policy is "Meh."

In which there are grandkids

Bastion gave birth to his very own 3/4 alien spawn on the beach. His mom watched from the background, still in her nighty after a mid-day nap. Elder sims must lose their internal clock during that last age-spin. Celina was a very pretty child, so far inheriting all of the good alien characteristics and none of the bad. She had reached toddlerhood before her aunt Brionna delivered.
Brionna just didn't seem to gain that much weight during her pregnancy. Her belly only grew to about half the size of Bastion's, causing him to worry that there wasn't really anything there. "Heddo, babykins! Can you hear me?" There's a good six inches of skin and tissure in between you and that kid, Bastion, not to mention the muffling effect that a sound layer of amniotic fluid has.
But when Celestina finally came, she didn't seem any smaller than her cousin was as a baby. Arianna seemed drawn to her grandchildren and took over the majority of the childcare. She was up at all hours of the night anyway. Brionna took her turns, though. Bastion was almost always out. He was either dating some random townie or at his job as a professional party guest, or sleeping off all that partying.
Wait...are those floating hearts? I can barely see anything out there. Who in the world is that?

Erica. Blond hair, green eyes, slightly bohemian style disguising a money-grubbing little harlot. Unfortunately, she'd become the sole object of affection for Bastion. She wanted more than anything to marry him and get her hands on the burgeoning Mayo fortune.

"Wouldn't you love to get out of this crowded house?"

"No!"

"When your daddy and I get married we'll buy a mansion up on the plateau and you won't have to share a room with your gramma and cousin."

"No!"

"But..."

"Go way, mean lady!"

Suffice it to say, Celina isn't a fan. Celestina grew up a bit formerly, but equally well and also quite cute.

Combatting the "Jeffty is Five" Effect

One of the strangest things (and trust me, there are many, many strange things) about Sims2 is how aging is implemented. Our playables go through all age stages, with the YA stage being optional. Ignoring for a moment the insanity that is how University is handled, this means that a sim is on their pixellated Earth for approximately 70 days in an unmodified game, not counting University.

But what about townies and (if applicable) downtownies? These sims are not consciously played until they are added into a family, but they still are a very large part of the game. Yet they seem to be stuck in some sort of temporal stasis, ala "Jeffty is Five". A child may bring home from school a fellow student who also was best friends with his great-great-great-great grandmother. How strange!

I've constantly struggled with how to handle townies. Do I explain their inability to age away as their being part of a temporal stasis? Do I say that as the Oversoul has not yet gained interest in them, they are not yet entire beings, and the good and the bad of being a fully conscience sim is that one will grow, reproduce, and die? Do I eventually lose my mind and kill them all off? Do I age them along with my sims? If so, should I just start counting down the days until my neighborhood blows up in the famous BFBFVS, those hundreds of character files and memory files from dead townies eventually causing complete meltdown?

My solution for the moment is to age townies up on a rotation. This still isn't near realistic, but it's something, and it means that that adorable little townie kid I'd love to marry into my family, or a rather quirky teen who really needs some more spotlight, might eventually grow and join the family, or age and die to build fodder for my graveyards and make way for more townies. Each time the eldest of a generation ages to teen, I age half of the children, teens and elders, and a fourth of the adults. This isn't done randomly. I have a spreadsheet letting me know what lifestage every townie is in, when they last aged up, and what round I'm in. Before doing so, I check SimPE to see if any new townies have generated so they aren't missed. It's a lot of maintenance. It's still not quite what I want. It's going to add eight or so dead character files every generation. But it's enough that Jeffty eventually will grow old, even if his best friend has long passed.

In which there is dancing

Finally, Bastion and Brionna had become adults. They chose to stay at home rather than get places on their own, as the empty basement was the perfect size for two bedrooms and a second bathroom. As Pleasure sims, neither had the inclination to marry and settle down.

Brionna could not wait to meet her alien ancestors, now that she was old enough. Night after night, she stood near the beacon telescope and looked for a sign that they had come back to the neighborhood. Night after night, she was disappointed.

Ah, but they were there for Bastion when he'd barely been at the 'scope for an hour. And, of course, for mom Arianna again. What a waste of a probe! With Arianna only a couple of days from becoming an elder, she couldn't have been much fun to play with.

In an attempt to furnish their basement space, Bastion and Brionna opened a business on a small lot not far from home. A dance floor, a ticket machine, and a stereo. Very, very exciting stuff. However, we've learned that townies don't really care what they are doing as long as they have the opportunity to play the consumer. The twins dubbed the new business Dance!. Mostly, it was just a place for the local girls to sit and laugh at Bastion's horrible dance moves.

Elderhood became Arianna. Except for a slight hunch to her shoulders, she didn't seem to have aged a day from when she first moved to Prospect Beach tens of days ago. With Arianna now off the table as a viable specimen and Bastion already expecting, the aliens deemed it time to retrieve Brionna.

A short thanks is needed towards SaraMK of MATY. Without her hack, found here, to make Maxis default neighborhood objects and decorations placeable virtually anywhere, views like these just would not be possible. Without her added information on how to do this on your own objects, my custom signage placements would be severely restricted. Great gifts come in small .packages.

Other thanks to:

• TwoJeff's Age Duration Hack (I've slightly modded this hack in my game to lower the teenage days to 8 days, equal to childhood. 15 days is excessive.)